sunday synopsis

well i've successfully missed my last two sunday synopsis and saturday scribbles posts now, so i guess i kind of owe it to anybody who reads my blog to talk about why the hell i've been so absent from my blog over the last couple of weeks.

so, let's rewind a couple of weeks, to the week beginning on the 17th november. it honestly feels like that monday was yesterday, where i was frantically pulling together the last bits of my dissertation ready for my full draft submission on the 21st, so it's a bit of a slap around the face to realise that that was actually two weeks ago now. i've said it once, i'm sure i'll say it a million more times throughout the rest of my existence, but bloody hell doesn't time pass quickly when you've got shit to do?! i managed to finish off the last 2,000 words of my dissertation on the monday and tuesday, and was ready bright and early to submit my dissertation draft when the form went live on the 19th at 9am, simply because the sooner i got my dissertation submitted, the sooner i could head home for my birthday weekend with my family.

i made it home for around 3pm on the wednesday, and stayed until 5pm on the sunday. my time at home was nice, but didn't really come without any stress. wednesday evening and thursday were pretty chilled out, as i spent the wednesday evening with my mum and then went out with my mum, had my septum pierced and visited my nan on the thursday, but friday through to sunday all felt like such a big rush. on friday me and my mum were on a coach to manchester at 9am, and we didn't end up back in barnsley until 8pm because the coach had picked us up late and then got stuck in traffic. this wouldn't have been a problem, but i was headed to huddersfield that evening to celebrate my birthday with some friends, so after rushing home to shower and pack, then having car troubles on my way through to huddersfield, it was 9.30pm before i actually arrived there and my god was i ready for a drink by that point. the night was a success, and the next day at 4pm i was heading back home because i had a meal booked at 6pm in doncaster with my family, but my car decided to rear its head again and, to cut a long story short, i had to call the aa out and ended up leaving huddersfield at 5.30pm, meaning i wasn't going to make it home in time to then make it to doncaster by any stretch of the imagination. when i did eventually arrive home, we ended up just heading to meadowhall for a nando's (better than nothing, ey?) before going to see the new hunger games film at the cinema, as we had planned to after our meal in doncaster anyway, so not all was lost. it was that evening that i decided sunday was to be a write off: i was going to have a lie in, demolish my sunday dinner, and chill out with my family and ziggy before driving back up to middlesbrough. 

i told myself then that throughout the week before my actual birthday on the 28th, i'd get loads of work done and eat clean so i could afford the time lost and food eaten for all my birthday celebrations, however i failed epically at both of these tasks, going out twice in the week and generally lazing my way through meals, which mostly meant eating toast and bagels – oops! i'll level with you, i'm feeling a little plumper than normal and my workload has the ability to reduce me to tears daily, but hell, despite the small dramas, i've enjoyed the last couple of weeks. i think sometimes it's easy to isolate yourself from the world a little when you get preoccupied in your own mind and assume that there's no one around who really cares all that much, but the last couple of weeks have proved otherwise for me. i've never felt as close to my family before, and the effort my friends went to to make my 21st special for me really did make me so, so grateful for them, and made me feel a little silly to ever think that they didn't really care all that much. sometimes i just need to step out of my bubble for a while and have a proper look in from the outside, i think. 

so, that's me over the last couple of weeks, and i'm now officially 21. it doesn't feel any different really, not in the short term, but it is interesting to look at the drastic changes i've made to myself since turning 18 three years ago, and i'm thinking the changes are all for the better. happy birthday me!

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fifteen again...

fifteen year old me reppin' some really bad extensions

as of late my timehop's been bringing me various updates from my angsty fifteen year old self, and that combined with my comfort listening to music such as all time low, mayday parade and cute is what we aim for has had me thinking about just how much has changed in the last five years. 

it's funny to think about how small five years of my life seems now at twenty as i've no doubt that twenty five will creep up on me without me noticing, but when looking back at five years covering my entire time at school and then my entire time at college and university, both making up separate quarters of my life to date, it's become obvious that a lot of things have happened to me as a person throughout those years. 

i think the most significant changes have happened between fifteen and twenty, and in particular eighteen and twenty. i look back at my old status updates as a fifteen year old and cringe so hard at the way i'd express myself with such certainty, when really, i just didn't have a clue, but you can't tell a fifteen year old that, can you? i think upon beginning college and turning seventeen i began feeling embarrassed about the person i used to be, and because of that i think i changed myself and in turn lost a bit of who i was, becoming apathetic about most things. i remember at seventeen and eighteen i'd spend my weeks longing for friday when i could go out, get drunk, and basically just act however i saw fit because i felt that while i was drunk, i could. i didn't realise it at the time, but now i look back it's because i had absolutely no sense of myself. i didn't like things really unless they involved me getting drunk, and i thrived off attention from others, be they friends or complete strangers. i was obsessed with finding my value and validation from others, and i had to wait until friday rolled around each week for me to be able to do that.

seventeen year old me drinkin' strongbow illegally on a friday night

towards the end of my first year of university while i was eighteen, i started to get back in touch with myself. i'd found what i was interested in, and i couldn't have been happier indulging myself in it. come my nineteenth birthday and my breakup from my boyfriend of three years, i found that i then really understood who i was and where i wanted to go in life, which was such a drastic change from the hopelessly lost seventeen year old i'd been just a couple of years previous. in ways, i think my breakup was quite possibly the best thing that happened to me in terms of learning to value myself as a person, as opposed to finding my value in what others thought of me. i also think my breakup was good for just generally broadening my view of relationships, be they between lovers or friends, and i think nowadays i value relationships more, and in turn have more respect for the people i class as friends, and also family, oddly. in a way, i think the breakup helped me to mature and look at human relationships objectively rather than allowing emotions to take over, which resulted in me becoming unfair and irrational as a person. it seems silly that it wouldn't have ever been obvious to me, but after all we're all just human, experiencing our own feelings and struggles, and nowadays i'm mindful of that; sometimes people have to make decisions for themselves regardless of how they may affect you, and that's okay.

twenty year old me hopin' she's now got a bit of a clue

i turn twenty one tomorrow, and i'd be lying to you if i said i wasn't freaking out just a little bit. if you'd have asked me at fifteen what i thought my twenty one year old self would be doing, i probably wouldn't have answered 'freaking out about the future', as i guess i'd have thought that by twenty one (where you're officially an adult, right?) i'd have it all together, but then again i suppose that supports the argument of fifteen year olds thinking they know it all when they really don't. i'm currently looking at my life from now in years of five again, and i've already lived through one of them. turning twenty for me has had its ups and downs, and although it's been a challenge, i think it's been a good one for self development. i'm currently equally as excited and nervous about my life from now up until twenty five, as it'll perhaps be the most significant few years of my life in terms of finding my way in the world and paving out where i want my life to go, and while i know i need to have a game plan to a certain extent, a part of me kind of just wants to see where i end up (after having put the hard work in, of course.) right now, i'm just concentrating on getting my head down at university, pushing myself to create the best work i can, and then making the most of every moment at the graduation show in may and new blood in june/july. more than anything, i think i just need to keep working on myself and building up my confidence, and if i can achieve that, then hopefully i should be fine. 

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a quick look at my nudes...

collection volume sensation lipstick in 13 'satin bow': £2.99  |  soap & glory fabulipstick in 'super nude': £9

makeup revolution lipstick in 'the one': £1  |  primark matte long last lipstick: £1.50

collection  |  soap & glory

 makeup revolution  |  primark

as i mentioned a couple of weeks back in my everyday autumn makeup post, nowadays i'm a massive fan of a nude lip, so i thought i'd pop by this wednesday to share with you my collection of nudes (pun intended, sorry guys!) the entirety of my collection is bought from the highstreet, so while the prices of each lipstick vary, i think all four of them are definitely at least affordable for the average student. 

first up is the collection volume sensation lipstick, and as the name suggests, this lipstick tingles a little on your lips when applied and in turn gives them a slightly plumper look. this was the first nude lipstick i ever bought, and it's definitely the pinkest of the four. it has a really lovely, creamy consistency which applies easily and leaves your lips feeling moisturised.

next is the soap & glory fabulipstick which is my most recent nude purchase, and i think that for me this is a great 'my lips but better' colour. it's warm toned and is the peachiest of the four colours, and with its matte finish it helps to add a little bit of something to your lips when you're wanting a bit of colour, but nothing too bold. 

thirdly is the makeup revolution lipstick, which is the palest of the four colours. it's cool toned as opposed to the soap and glory offering, and because of this i think it's a true nude for my skin tone. like to the collection offering, it has a very creamy consistency which applies easily and leaves your lips feeling moisturised. 

lastly is the primark matte long last lipstick, and this is more of a mauve, vintage pink colour which i think is great for achieving the 90s nude lip that is all the rage at the moment. the formula of this product is a little odd as it has a slight shimmer through it, and while you can't see it on the lips, it does mean that it can often feel a little bit gritty on them. i've found that the more i've worn the lipstick the less gritty it feels however, so i assume it's just a case of wearing down the top layer of the bullet!

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a welcome addition...

after three years of deliberation, today i finally bit the bullet and got my septum pierced. for a while i was putting it off because i was worried about the pain, but over the last few months i'd started worrying less about the very temporary pain and instead more about the fact that most places charge £30 for the piercing, so when my mum offered to pay for it doing for my 21st birthday i thought it was time to put any fears aside and just get on with it. 

my piercing cost £20 at a studio called taattoo in wombwell and the girls who dealt with me couldn't have been friendlier or more reassuring, and i was in and out within the space of ten minutes. much to my surprise, the piercing didn't really hurt at all. i had a bit of numbing cream applied but i'm not sure how helpful it was or wasn't because i could feel the needle poking around inside my nose while the piercer was lining everything up, but the piercing itself seemed to happen so quickly that i didn't have time to actually think about feeling anything! my eyes didn't even water as much as i was expecting, so it's fair to say that overall it was a really positive experience and i'd urge anyone who's been putting a septum piercing off because of pain to just go for it!

i decided to get pierced with a straight bar because i'm not a fan of the usual circular barbells that are used, but once it's all healed up i plan to replace it with a septum retainer and team it up with a nose stud!

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mua brow define tinted brow mascara

 mua brow define: £2 (available at superdrug, not currently online)

if you read my blog, you'll know how much i adore the elf eyebrow treat and tame, but while i was browsing superdrug a few weeks ago this brow offering from mua caught my eye and i couldn't not pick it up at £2. when i initially picked this product up i was desperate to love it, simply because the elf offering can often be hard to get your hands on as it frequently sells out online and then doesn't reappear back in stock sometimes for months on end, so to have a cruelty free, affordable option readily available for me on the high street would be a god send for the times where i may find myself without my beloved elf product! 

my excitement was short lived however after i was horribly disappointed with this product after its first use. i wasn't sure if it was me being clumsy or the product being too wet, but i found that i ended up with more product on the skin around my eyebrows rather than on the eyebrows themselves, which made for a big ol' mess instead of the perfectly defined, bushy looking brows i was aiming for. despite being disappointed, i persisted with using the product then for another two weeks, desperately trying to force myself to at least like it, and after spending a while with less than satisfactory brows, things seemed to pick up a little. fast forward two weeks and the product was applying pretty much perfectly, giving me the brows i desired and so often achieved using my elf product, which made me think that perhaps it was the formula of the product which was a little bit too wet to start with, and that it simply needed to dry out a little before it could reach its full potential, much like a lot of mascaras. 

if i'm being perfectly honest, while this product does the job now its had the chance to dry out, i still think i'd choose the elf option over this because it has a much easier wand to work with. this mua offering has a smaller wand which decreases in size to a fine point, whereas the elf wand is all one thickness, which helps to give a more even, all over coverage and requires much less precision to use, which is perfect if you're a bit of a klutz like i am! while i'll be firmly sticking with my elf offering on a permanent basis, i won't be throwing this product out either as it'll make a nice little temporary replacement for my elf product if and when i should run out of it in the future. that said, for £2 you really can't go wrong with this product as it does the job and won't break the bank. 

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saturday scribbles

i thought for a change that i'd get my saturday scribbles and uploaded early on in the day to avoid the fumbling around minutes before midnight that usually occurs when i realise that i've neglected to upload this post. 

this week i've been working on my puffin book cover (still, i know, it's taking much longer than i anticipated!) and designing and printing some tote bags to sell in an attempt to raise some more money for our d&ad new blood fund. we carried over my a-z doggies design, and in addition to this i created a cat, pug and a typographic offering so there was perhaps a little something for everybody because i know there are crazy folk out there who aren't dog people, tsk. as well as designing for these tote bags, i've also doodled up a sloth enthusiast design that i plan to screenprint onto bags in the next couple of weeks to sell through my etsy (and of course because i wanted one for myself!) so if you're at all interested, keep your eyes peeled! if you happen to be interested in one of our other tote bag designs, do feel free to drop me an email at robynmakesthings@gmail.com and i'll see what we can do for you! we're selling the bags at £4 each, and then with postage on top it'd probably cost you around the £6 mark to get your hands on one of these!

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all layered up

necklaces: gothikkka & topshop (old)

jumper: depop

shirt: charity shop

skirt: new look (old)

boots: primark (old)

sometimes blogger acts like a total bitch, and today is one of those days as it seems to not be able to handle uploading images properly, meaning i'm left with darkened, slightly pixelated pictures which isn't cool by anybody's standards, right? come on, blogger, pull it together!

how cute is my little hand necklace?! me and my friend jenny got together over the summer to have a play around with clay and tiny hands were amongst the things she created, so when she asked if i'd like a tiny hand necklace i wasn't going to turn it down! i find the little pop of teal that it brings to my outfit helps to make it a little less drab (even though i'm super comfy and warm right now, and that's key, right?)

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my everyday autumn makeup

as of late, something strange has happened during my morning makeup routine as i've found myself opting for a nude lip and bold eyes, rather than my signature winged liner and bold lip. so, what's the deal?

nude lips

up until around a year ago, i'd always shyed away from nude lipsticks because i'm fairly pale, but once i figured out which shades worked with my skin tone i've been loving nude lips ever since. i recently picked up a soap and glory lipstick in the shade super nude and i've been reaching for it most days since then, and it's also what i used on my lips in this look. 

bold eyes
again around a year ago, i received the elf 100 piece eyshadow palette free with one of my orders but i only really started to play around with it throughout the summer, and am i glad that i eventually did! i've been loving mixing the pinks and purples within the palette to create a somewhat girly but grungy smoky eye that i think complements my eye colour wonderfully and works a treat with a nude lip. 

bronzed cheeks

i was big on bronzing throughout the summer, and now we've transitioned into autumn i'm still trying to hold onto a healthy glow and i achieve it using the collection bronze glow mosaic. the bronzer is somewhat shimmery, helping to add to the glow i'm attempting to achieve, and i find that it blends nicely and isn't too orange on my skin. 

strong brows

perhaps an obvious one, because when isn't a strong brow on the agenda?! as ever, i fill my brows in with my b. eyeshadow before giving them a good brush through with my trusty elf eyebrow treat and tame to finish the look. 

these are my current autumn makeup favourites, what are yours?

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back to black

turtleneck jumper: primark

skirt: primark

boots: primark

long time no outfit post, ey? i've attempted to take some outfit pictures a couple of times since my last outfit upload, but because of issues with the weather and lighting they just didn't come out well enough to share unfortunately, but last friday i scrambled out into the garden just in time before it started to rain and managed to take some successful snaps! i've got more of a bitchface going on here than i'd desire to have, but i thought to hell with it and decided i'd share anyway seeing as my blog's been so horribly quiet over the last couple of weeks.

i nipped into primark last week after seeing them share this skirt on their twitter page knowing that i had to have it, and luckily enough for me it was available in store and waiting for me to take it home. it's a lovely thick, wooly material that's perfect for keeping warm in the winter, even if it's somewhat constrictive when you're sat in a lecture theatre, but you can make compromises for pretty items of clothing, right? paired with a turtleneck and my faux fur trimmed coat, i can see this becoming one of my winter staples this year. 

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saturday scribbles & sunday synopsis

i'm making a habit of this late/missing posting of saturday scribbles and sunday synopsis posts lately, aren't i? with no good reason most of the time, as i pretty much spent the entirety of saturday hungover, chilling out watching films (jurassic park 3 happened and it was fabulous, by the way) and then spent the entirety of today writing my dissertation (i'm not proud that it took me almost 7 hours to write just under 900 words, but hey, it got written eventually) before again then chilling out to watch gogglebox when my friend got back from visiting home at around 10pm. 

workwise, things are starting to look up a little. i finished off my grand central illustration, and in the end i was pretty happy with it. i'm not sure it's something that'll fit what they're looking for, but i think it's true to my style and tone of voice and it's something i now think i'd be happy to display in my portfolio, which is the ultimate goal really, isn't it? i've also started working on my entry for the penguin design award children's book entry, which this year is to design the jacket for carrie's war. initially i wasn't overly impressed with the text, but after having a look at previous covers and really having a think about what the story covered, i've gotten into the task a bit more and have so far quite enjoyed playing around with themes and ideas, i'm just now hoping it continues positively and i adapt my style accordingly and naturally along the way!

i've also had a little bit less of a stress workwise as i worked out that i can use macmillan as my final project piece, which means more time to think about my story properly, and more time to actually get the illustrations done. i was originally going to simply produce four spreads and a rough dummy book as the brief asks as my current module is a fairly short, busy one, but with making it my final project i'll have more time to attempt to illustrate the entire book again, which would be hard work no doubt, but thoroughly enjoyable too, and i think it'd conclude my studies (and my portfolio) nicely. 

i'm also now just under 3,000 words into my 5,000 word dissertation and i'm pretty happy with how it's coming along after receiving such great feedback from my tutor. i've really sunk my teeth into my topic and each and every time i fall back into my research i fall in love with it all over again (lame, i know) because there's just so much to consider and so many wonderful words being shared by various illustrators and authors who have such enlightened, intelligent views about picture books. honestly, picture books are fantastic, and i'm thinking my dissertation could really become something i'll be proud of, which isn't something i'd have previously anticipated. 

so yeah, all in all a more positive week this week for me, let's just hope the pattern continues and my life doesn't slip down the drain in a couple of weeks time when i turn 21 (!!!!!!)

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primark | cinnamon & maple christmas candle

primark cinnamon & maple christmas candle: 80p

now halloween is out of the way i'm happy to start thinking about all things christmas related (because the 31st halloween/1st november crossover represents the death of halloween and birth of christmas, right?) and my first point of call was this primark candle (aside from the fact that i'd wrapped some of my christmas presents earlier in october, but we'll keep that as our little secret...)

when i'm in primark i always go for a little mooch around the home section and for a while now i've been a fan of their cheap but strongly scented candles, so when i spotted this cinnamon & maple scented candle picking it up was really a no brainer, especially as it was priced at just 80p!

as much as i love primark's coconut and vanilla scented tealights as they smell reasonably strongly and retail for just £1.50 a pack, they really don't have anything on this cinnamon & maple candle. from the minute you start burning it your room smells heavenly, and the strong cinnamon scent is enough to get anybody into the festive spirit (yes, even misery guts me who hates autumn/winter!) i've found that if i burn the candle for an hour on an evening, my room still smells strongly of cinnamon the next morning – which is definitely not something i was expecting from an 80p candle! – so i've taken to burning it for an hour on a morning and evening to keep my room smelling deliciously festive all day long. 

the candle has an estimated burn time of 12 hours, but i've lit the candle now for the last three or four days twice a day religiously and it's hardly made a dent in the wax, so it's fair to say that the product's well worth the measly 80p you pay for it. the next time i'm in town i'll be heading straight back to primark and stocking up on these babies because they are delicious; move over yankee candle's cinnamon stick, i have a new favourite christmas candle!

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sunday synopsis

it's five minutes to midnight and i'm laid in bed hungry but it's too late to eat. i've had another unsuccessful week work wise and it's starting to take its toll. as a third year i'm racking up an insane amount of work as i'm attempting to complete four different briefs within the same module alongside writing my dissertation, and while i'm struggling to create work i like, i'm falling further and further behind. the frustrating thing about illustration is that you have to put the time into creating an image before you can decide whether or not it works, and sometimes that time can be several hours of your day, which of course isn't helpful when you're having to organise and prioritise your time down to individual days. i'm not sure what to do at the moment other than to keep working, but it's hard when for the last three weeks i've been nothing but bitterly disappointed. i've never felt so in out of my depth before, and i'm honestly wishing i could just drop out, take some time, and come back to my work when i feel like i've pulled it together because my deadlines perhaps won't allow me the time i need to pull it together. i'm completing briefs, sure, but nothing's satisfying me, nothing's worthy of merit, praise, or a place in my portfolio and it's disheartening. i can't see the point in completing briefs if the end result isn't something to be proud of, particularly as a third year student who should be on top of themselves and building a portfolio that will see them through graduation and into the real world. i hate to admit it, but i'm struggling. work's been hard before, sure, but i've never felt like i can't physically complete tasks like i do now.

in other news, halloween was on friday and a couple of friends from home came to stay with me and my housemate for the evening. it was a pretty naff night out, what with the club we went to being over crowded and sweaty, but we made the most of each other's company and it turned out alright in the end, seeing us carving pumpkins together before we went out, and then retreating home just after midnight in favour of a pizza and a chat in our pyjamas. in an attempt to save money this year i scrapped the idea of dressing up as a sloth and instead dressed up as something i didn't have to buy an outfit for, and ended up dressing up as a doll by throwing on my black velvet dress, a collared shirt and a neck bow. i put a few quid into buying eyelashes and white foundation, but it hardly made a dint in my bank account. i felt like this year's attempt was a little sloppy compared to my goblin king offering last year, but for the hour and half we actually spent out of the house, it wouldn't have been worth pouring too much time and effort into a great costume. 

my sloth-o-lantern to the left, and emily's, alice's and jenny's pumpkins to the right in our pumpkin family picture

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