Sunday, 31 August 2014

sunday synopsis

i sat down to start writing this up at around 7pm, but the words just weren't coming to me like i'd have liked them to so i thought i'd give it up as a bad job, and here i am now at 11.25pm fumbling around with my thoughts to try and get something written down that makes sense. 

it's been a while (a pretty bloody long while, actually) since i cried myself to sleep, but it happened earlier on in the week. i've mentioned previously that i've been feeling a bit bummed out, and it's just kept building up since and the other night i just kind of snapped a little. of course it always feels great to let it out, but while laid in bed wallowing in my own self pity, i had a thought that really opened my eyes. i was thinking about how horribly lonely i felt, but wondered how that was so when over the summer i've reconnected with old friends, made a handful of new ones, and generally i've just been pretty busy with plans seeing people that matter to me, and that's when it occurred to me: loneliness is internal, not external.

it seems so silly and obvious now i type it out for myself to read, but it felt like such a giant wave of realisation hitting me to finally understand that i feel so terribly lonely because, to be honest, i'm not really my own friend at the minute. i've let myself go, physically and mentally, and altogether it's just making for a total lack of self love, confidence, and in turn the drive to want to get back on my feet and work again on my relationship with myself. 

i feel like i've been falling down this hole for a while now, and i'm hoping that i've finally hit the bottom, because then at least if i am then at the bottom i can start to plan my way out. i'm feeling confident because i've done this before, around this time last year i went through a bout of self loathing, but with a bit of drive and determination to better myself, i got through it and things were fantastic for so long. 

i just felt like i needed somewhere to air all these thoughts, and my blog seemed like a pretty appropriate place. i often feel uncomfortable discussing my feelings with people face to face because i can't quite make sense of them myself, so to have a place to air them that doesn't demand a direct response or judgement of some sort really is comforting. 

i'm working on it. it might take me a while, but i'll get there.

Saturday, 30 August 2014

saturday scribbles

this week it was my uni housemate's birthday, so as she's an elephant enthusiast i decided to doodle her up and elephant birthday card, and she seemed to be pretty happy with the results which in turn pleased me because i spent a whole day drawing and redrawing, designing and redesigning it because i just couldn't get it to look right! in the end i was pretty happy with the colour scheme and the typography, but think there's definitely room to work on my elephants *adds to list of things to draw relentlessly*

as you may or may not have seen, earlier this week i also gave my blog, twitter, tumblr and portfolio a bit of a facelift in an attempt to bring all the platforms together in harmony, and after having it up for almost a week, i've decided that i don't actually hate the design, but just needed a while to get used to such a major change; again, the colour scheme is what i'm most pleased with, which is bizarre because colour schemes are normally something i just can't get right!

if you follow my instagram, you'll also notice that i've pulled my paints back out and have been doodling up some doggies, and this coming week i hope to further develop those so i can finally pull together the dogs a - z that i set out to do at the beginning of the summer! and speaking of doggies, i've got some clay magnet commissions to work my way through – yippee! don't forget i'm available to take commissions, so if there's anything you'd like, do feel free to drop me an email :) i've also had a couple more ideas for clay jewellery i'd like to have a go at making, so i'm hoping to get around to having a go at those ideas, too. 

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

cruelty free haircare to rival aussie

 hask repairing shampoo & conditioner: £4.50 each, available in primark

since giving up aussie shampoo and conditioner last october after choosing to only buy cruelty free cosmetics, finding some decent shampoo and conditioner has been something of a challenge for me. i've tried more expensive offerings from the body shop and cheaper own brand options from morrisons, aldi and superdrug, but nothing seemed to nourish and cleanse my hair like the aussie products did, until i stumbled across these products in primark one time. 

i was drawn in by the argan oil label on the bottle, and upon picking it up and inspecting the bottle i was delighted to read that the products aren't tested on animals, so i quickly popped the conditioner into my basket to try out. after having used the conditioner for a couple of weeks and being impressed, i also picked up the shampoo to try the two products together.

first up, these products smell incredible. they have a very strong citrus scent that reminds me of lemon sherbet sweets, making for a very enjoyable hair washing experience. previous shampoos i've used haven't lathered very well, and altogether it just felt like i was scraping the product through my hair rather than massaging it in, but this shampoo lathers up nicely and glides through your hair and washes out quickly and easily, making for a wash more like the aussie one i used to know and love. as for the conditioner, it's light, easy to work through your hair and just as easy to wash out, meaning there'll be no more awful left over conditioner in my hair for me to deal with! 

when my hair's dried after using these products, it has considerably more body than it did while i was using the body shop products, and it doesn't get as greasy as quickly, which is a blessing in itself. i found that after using the body shop products my hair was quite limp and almost greasy, but these products seem to have combatted that pretty well. if i were to criticise anything about these products, it would probably be that they don't leave my hair feeling quite as soft as aussie products used to. now, i'm not a haircare expert, but i have a suspicious that it could be the no parabens or sulfates that mean that i don't get quite a shiny finish, because apparently shampoos and conditioners containing them thinly coat your hair with plastic?! again, i'm no expert so i don't know how true any of this is, so please do feel free to tell me if i've been completely misled, haha! as always, if you know of any fantastic cruelty free hair care products, do feel free to drop me some suggestions down below!

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

jurassic pjs

as a general rule, i steer clear of graphic print and slogan tees – they're mostly tacky and just not me at all – but when i walked past this jurassic park tee it haunted me for the next couple of weeks until i just had to head back to a primark to pick it up. of course i'll never be seen outside of the house in the tee because, let's face it, the neon floral print is hideous, but as huge jurassic park fan i knew that i wanted this tee in my wardrobe. why? i really couldn't tell you, but i had a massive internal itch that meant i just had to buy it. i opted for a very oversized size 16 and throw this on over a pair of pink pyjama shorts that i own for a pair of super comfy, super jurassic park fan pyjamas that satisfy my desire to own and wear the tee without having to embarrass myself by wearing it in the outside world. 

on sunday evening i heard the news that richard attenborough, the creator of jurassic park (well, at least in the films) had sadly passed away, so i'll be wearing these pjs in his memory over the next couple of days to celebrate the ups and downs that were the jurassic park trilogy, and the man in the films who gave us the opportunity to get up close and personal with the dinosaurs in his (mostly problematic) theme park. 

there have been rumours now of a fourth jurassic park for as long as i can remember, but i think that it may be final that the fourth instalment, jurassic world, is finally going to be with us in 2015! it's fair to say that i'll be straight to the cinema to experience the dinosaurs on the big screen, excited to see what the fourth film has to bring us (more cunning velociraptors, i hope!)

Monday, 25 August 2014

the cold shoulder

hat: h&m
chokers: lilac edge
dress: primark
faux leather gilet: primark
belt: asos
t-bar dr martens: ebay

i've dabbled in the cold shoulder dress a few times in the past, however it's never seemed to be a style i could get on with. when i laid eyes on this dress in primark, i knew i had to at least give it a go as it was up for grabs for a measly £8, and surprisingly it sat nicely on my shoulders rather than hanging too low and gaping like previous dresses had done. 

now i don't know if it's the intended length or because i'm a midget, but without a belt this dress sits just above the knee as more of a midi dress, so i decided to belt up and hitch the material up a little for a more flattering fit for my 5'2 self, and i think it looks pretty decent. teamed with my faux leather gilet (that i haven't taken off this summer) and t-bar docs, i think the tie dye and nude colours of the dress work really well with the block blacks of the gilet, shoes and hat. i think the dress itself is pretty versatile in that it could be worn more casually as i chose to this time, or dressed up a little more with some chunky heels and silver accessories. for £8, i think it was a decent little find!

sunday synopsis

a very late post this evening, but it's because i've spent the evening giving my social media accounts a complete overhaul! i started with my blog, moved onto my twitter, have made a start on my portfolio and plan to finish that as well as my tumblr account tomorrow. i'm still a little unsure about how i feel about the new design, but i thought i'd stick with it for a while to see how i adjust to it – sometimes a fresh set of eyes can see a piece of work in a whole new light! regardless of how i may or may not feel tomorrow, i think a redesign was overdue for my online presence to try and create some kind of consistency between my various platforms so it can start to look a little bit more professional. for now my eyes hurt an awful lot, so i'm going to call it a night and give my eyes some well deserved rest! 

Saturday, 23 August 2014

saturday scribbles

so last week's saturday scribbles showed the beginnings of a commission i was working on, and this saturday i'm here to show you the finished designs! i was commissioned again by francesca from thefrancescadiaries to create a new blog header, button and youtube header for her, and although it's very different to my usual work, it was satisfying to come away from that for a little while and work on something a little bit more design based for a change, because, as we all know, i am a terrible designer. 

i had lots of fun drawing the different makeup bits and pieces, and am particularly happy with the patterns that i made using them – they just seemed to slot together so well! overall i'm pretty happy with the work i produced for her, but if i had to choose a favourite i think it'd be the youtube banner because i think the colour scheme works well and the composition ended up working pretty well in the end despite the awkward youtube header dimensions! 

if you'd like to see the designs up and running, you can visit francesca's blog and her youtube